everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
birth control should be required to get into college
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
