She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
