We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
