Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I'm really busy with my period
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