Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
