Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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