matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
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