Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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