Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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