You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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