Where is the hickey?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
