all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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