so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
