And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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