tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize