i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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