third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
