i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
