and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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