____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
