what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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