why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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