I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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