At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
