Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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