Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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