vagina is talking i cant
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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