the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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