Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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