he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
