went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sorry about my life...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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