My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
