I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My life is pants optional.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
