So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
