Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
