an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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