I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
