if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
