it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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