Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
