Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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