and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
