no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize