Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Your cock deserves a montage
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
