you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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