Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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