You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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