Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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