Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize