Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
