Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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