it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We left an ass print on the piano.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
