The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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