the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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