playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
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I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
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i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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