shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think my fart just growled at me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
