Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night

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(917): View more from New York City

Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba

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