Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
