I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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