im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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