I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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