My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize