Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
