haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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