I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
